The Shame of Mental Health

It is hard to believe that today, January 13, is the day I had zero hope or faith in anything. It has been five years since that egregious day happened. I used that particular adjective because it shocked me and my family that I attempted to take my own life. I do not have any major mental health disorders. I do have anxiety, which came from living in survival mode my whole life. But I have never not wanted to live. Sadly, suicide is on the rise for all ages, genders and race. Ever since that day in 2020, I have been studying what is triggering the up tick in suicides. I have also been watching health care and people on how they deal with the problem. When a tragedy happens on that magnitude there is a silent outcry. Meaning, everyone knows what happened, and there are true emotions of shock, sadness, anger, why and extreme grief. But nobody openly talks about what triggers someone to come that point. And we have horrible mental healthcare in this country. If you know me, you would never thought I could get to that point. But, I did. If I had died that day, people would had experienced the emotions I listed above, but I lived. Then nobody knew what to do. I have experienced exclusion, whispers behind my back and called crazy. Especially, by the ones who brought me to that point. That's why I wrote my book. I am not crazy, I broke under extreme stress, compounded by all the things that I had to survive. It took a lot to write that book, because I had to open up old wounds, praying the whole time that somehow it would help others. The words flowed freely on paper, and I know it was God who gave me the words. I profoundly believe that God is tired of all the darkness in this world. I may never have a best seller, but I believe that God puts that book in the person's hands that needs it. I believe with all my heart, we have to stop shaming people who have a hard time. So, what does trigger people to have a mental crisis? This is what I found from my own experience, people who have lost loved to suicide, and seeing how social media affects people. You share a wonderful experience on social media and when you see the likes you get a high. You share a bad day or have a problem, and that post is passed right on by. I will list triggers that I know.

Work Place bullying

School bullying

Online bullying

Employers, teachers, and friends who never say enough is enough with the bullying.

You catch my drift here? Most people are triggered by other people, not all, but the majority stems from the ugliness of others. Most of our country starting from the top promote bullying by their words and actions. It is time to speak up and out. If you feel better by belittling others, you are part of the problem. And friends, I have experienced some of the worst bullying by Christians. That in particular caught me off guard. I also know that they blame me for my misfortunate incident even to this day. So, how do we help? If you see someone struggling reach out to them, tell them they are worthy, tell them God loves them, tell them they matter, help them get out of the situation and do NOT tell them to just get over it. Counseling from a professional helps tremendously. Unfortunately, it is hard to get, when our healthcare system usually does not pay for it. When my son was bullied at school, nobody would help us at the school. He was different, and not in the "in"crowd. He is reserved and shy like his daddy. One day we got another call over some minute matter, and I walked in the school lunchroom and saw my little fourth grader with his head in his hands, and my heart broke. It was that moment, I knew the school would never help him, but we, his parents, did. Robby and I decided to pull him out and homeschool him. We could not move to live in another schools district,

and I had to rearrange my work schedule. It was not easy, but that was the best decision we could make for him at that time. I wonder what would had happened to him if we had not done that?

How many more suicides are we going to discuss behind closed doors? How come we allow so much bullying? How come we allow social media to tell us how to look and act? As a Christian, how can you condone bullying situations? God saved me that day through my dog. If she had not alerted the searchers where I was, I would be dead. And most of the ones who pushed me to that point are still their same old self. If I feel like someone has meanness for me or my family now, I choose to walk away. As they say hindsight is 20/20.

Teach your kids that is ok to be different, God gave us all our own special talents. If you only have one friend that believes in you, that's okay. If you live in a bad home life, find someone to talk to. Let's collectively as a whole try to better mental healthcare for all, especially for the young ones. Let's try and be better towards one another. Kindness and love can and will usurp a dark society. Do not let bullying become what our country is known for. Quit labeling people as crazy when they are trying to overcome bad situations. We have no idea the things people have, had and will have to face in this world. We would be better if we would just connect and engage with one another in a positive manner. Friends, we need to better ourselves first and foremost and never stop trying to be at our best. Can you imagine a nation, if we let our light shine brightly? Remember, light always overcomes darkness. Darkness is just the absence of light, not a physical entity. It is simply a lack of illumination. We as Christians have an obligation to shine our light. So, let's beat this crisis of suicide in our nation, by being a beacon of light, hope and love. It will not be easy, but life is not promised to be easy.

Dawn Renee